Before I forget… although I find it very unlikely that I
ever will… I ought to mention something else. It was another consequence, quite
unexpected, of my being put back into short trousers for school.
Among the truly Byzantine rules and regulations that
governed the correct wearing of boy’s uniform at my school, a number of pages
were devoted to P.E. uniform. Now boys who wore short trousers, like me, were
expected to wear a slightly more juvenile version of P.E. uniform than that
worn by boys who had progressed to long trousers. In practice this meant that
all First Form boys wore Junior P.E. shorts and singlets without exception,
since all boys in their first year at my school wore compulsory short trousers
as part of their uniform. As I have said before boys in their second year were,
subject to parental approval, allowed to wear ‘longs’, but if a boy remained in
short trousers during his second year, then he was also obliged to wear Junior
P.E. uniform for his gym and games lessons. As I have also said before it was
extremely rare indeed for any boy to be seen wearing short trousers to school in the
Third Year. I was the exception. I was therefore, due to Emily’s strict interpretation
of the school rules, reduced to wearing Junior P.E. shorts and singlet once
more for all my gym and games lessons whether indoors or outdoors.
It is a matter for speculation whether our P.E. teacher
would have noticed if I had worn the same regulation P.E. uniform of my
classmates. But as it was he couldn’t fail to notice me wearing my Junior P. E.
shorts and singlet. He asked me why I was wearing ‘junior kit’ and I was forced
to explain that it was because I was still in short trousers; that I had to wear
the same P.E. uniform as a junior boy. He shrugged his shoulders and said
something like, “Well it’s your choice…” My choice! My choice! What choice did
I have in the matter? If it were my choice I most certainly would not… repeat not… as a fifteen year old boy, wear a
junior boy’s P.E. uniform… and most definitely not Junior P.E. shorts!
Why was I making all this fuss about a pair of Junior P.E.
shorts you might ask? Emily thought I was being silly and mum certainly agreed.
Furthermore, my making such an issue out of something which to them was simply of no
consequence, was just one more example of my childish behaviour and one more
example of the soundness of Emily’s reasoning which put me in short trousers
in the first place. So as usual I couldn’t win. But why did I make such a fuss?
Simply put, Junior P.E. shorts had no inner lining, as it was considered
unnecessary in P.E. shorts that were to be worn by young boys, most of whom
would still be at Tanner Stage 1 and unlikely to have entered puberty. There
were of course exceptions and there were rules and guidance notes in the school
uniform regulations which I will come to in a moment.
As you are by now well aware, I was fifteen years old and, apart from
an embarrassing lack of pubic hair, as well developed as any other boy of my
age. So can you imagine what it was like for me to be made to wear Junior P.E.
shorts? Junior shorts not only had no inner lining, they were cut in such a way
as to make the inevitable ‘fall-out’ for an older boy much more probable. There was simply very little I could do to stop my penis from poking out of the leg of the
shorts. Any activity in the school gym would cause me uncontrollable exposure.
Handstands were a nightmare as the whole front of the upturned Junior P.E.
shorts would flop downwards towards the waistband and expose everything! If exercises in the gym weren’t
bad enough, imagine what it was like when the class was held outdoors. The
anxiety and humiliation was intense.
As I said, there were cases for which exceptions could be
made. For instance if a boy was rather, shall I say, too well-developed to wear
Junior P.E. shorts with any degree of modesty. After one memorable
cross-country run during which my penis spent most of its time outside my
flimsy shorts, so that I was forced to run with my hands pushed between my legs as I ran through some well-populated streets, I
plucked up courage to talk to mum about my ‘problem’.
The school uniform rules didn’t allow the junior boy to wear
different P.E. shorts, but it did mean the boy could wear a junior schoolboy
jockstrap if he was suffering similar problems to my own. But it wasn’t that
simple of course… not only did the boy have to have written parental
permission; boys also had to have a medical certificate from their school or
family doctor sanctioning the wearing of a junior, school approved jockstrap
for specified P.E. lessons.
Now, under normal circumstances it might be expected that
the boy’s doctor would be sufficiently aware of the boy’s medical history and
physical development for a request to be made and the appropriate paperwork
generated for the issuance of a certificate allowing the boy to wear a
junior boy’s jockstrap during his P.E. and games lessons. Not so me. For a
start… but I’m getting ahead of myself again.
Before anything else I had to ask mum. Can you imagine how
embarrassing it is for a fifteen year old boy to have to say: “Mum… err… mum can I have
a jockstrap to wear for school?” Well that’s what I did say when I found mum on
her own in the kitchen. It had taken me a while to summon the courage to ask
about the jockstrap and I was definitely not going to ask mum when Emily was
about.
“What on earth do you need a jockstrap for, dear?” mum said
and looked me straight in the eye.
“It’s for P.E., mum…” I said, not liking the way the
conversation was heading.
“I thought jockstraps were for older boys…” she said
dismissively and turned back to what she was doing before adding, “Anyway
you’ll have to speak to Emily about it. You know she looks after your school
uniform requirements now…”
Right on cue, Emily walked into the kitchen where I had been talking to mum.
“What about Scottie’s uniform?” Emily asked.
“Oh, Scottie wants a jockstrap for some reason… I can’t
think why,” mum answered casually, quite unconcerned about what I thought would
be considered a personal matter. Mums just don’t see these things in the same way
though.
I wanted the kitchen floor to swallow me up, I felt so
embarrassed. And I just knew what was coming…
Emily looked at me with her serious look. I didn’t think
that Emily would even know what a boy’s jockstrap was, but I was wrong of
course.
“Why do you want a jockstrap, Scottie?” I was asked by a
girl two years my junior.
“I… I just do… that’s why,” I said, trying not to say more
than was necessary.
Emily persisted: “But we must know why you want a jockstrap,
Scottie. It’s an extra item of school uniform and it will be an extra expense…
an extra expense, Scottie.” Emily said using that ‘reasonable’ voice that so
irritated me; talking to me as if I were a ten year old who didn’t understand
grown-up things. She carried on: “School uniforms cost money, Scottie, so if
you want a jockstrap for school, you’ll have to tell us why you want one.”
“I suppose some of the other boys have got them... so now he wants one,” mum interjected.
I hesitated and thought that if I could just get this over
with and it was agreed I could have a school jockstrap, then that would be and
end of it. At that point I had no idea what else would be involved. So I
blurted out after a couple of hesitant starts:
“It’s… it’s… I have to wear Junior P.E. shorts for gym and
games… and… and…”
Red-faced and utterly embarrassed I told mum and Emily how
my penis dangled out of the Junior P.E. shorts. I told them about the
cross-country run and how my penis jiggled about outside my shorts even though
I kept trying to push it back inside the shorts. In the end Emily and mum
agreed they would ‘think about it’.
I was so relieved to have got through my ordeal that I left
the kitchen thinking that, either way, whether I got a school approved
jockstrap or not, then at least the worst was over.
It wasn’t. A couple of days later Emily announced that she
had read the relevant paragraphs of the School Uniform Handbook and the
requirements and approvals needed before a junior boy could be allowed to wear
a jockstrap for school activities were quite specific.
Emily told me about the necessity of a medical examination
before a doctor’s certificate could be obtained which sanctioned the wearing of
a school approved boy’s junior jockstrap during specified lessons. My heart sank.
Why couldn’t I just be given a jockstrap to wear?
“Don’t be silly, Scottie,” Emily said breezily, “If that was
the case… why every junior boy would want one… whether they really needed one
or not. Now don’t you see, Scottie, school uniforms are expensive and if every
little boy decided he wanted a jockstrap to play in, why think of all that extra
cost.”
Before I could say anything Emily carried on briskly,
telling me she had tried to make an appointment to see the school doctor but
that he was fully booked for the next few days. So she had managed to get me
an appointment with her own family doctor, a Dr Bradley.
“Once I’d explained how urgent it was, Scottie, they managed
to squeeze you in for a special appointment tomorrow afternoon straight after
school. I’ll pick you up outside your school and we can go round together… it’s
not far. I’m sure the doctor…”
“But… but Emily, it’s not that urgent,” I pleaded now that
the full horror of a doctor’s appointment was made plain, “Why can’t I wait to
see the school doctor…?”
“But Scottie, I thought you wanted to get a jockstrap to
wear for your P.E. lessons,” Emily said, “If you’re now telling me that you
don’t need one when I’ve gone through all this trouble…”
“No… no, please Emily, it’s not that… it’s just… just that I
didn’t know that I’d need to see a doctor… I thought… I thought that…”
“… You thought we could just go out and buy one from the
school outfitter…”
“Yes, Emily… but I do still want one… honestly,” I said
unable meet Emily’s gaze.
“Good, then I will meet you outside school and take you to
see the doctor for your examination.”
And that was that.
The next day after school Emily and I went for my
appointment with her doctor. My embarrassment started as soon as we arrived at
the doctor’s reception when Emily loudly announced my name to the lady and that
I was there for the express purpose of an examination to see whether I needed
to wear a schoolboy jockstrap during P.E. lessons. There were at least two or
three ladies in the waiting area along with a couple of young boys who
sniggered when they heard Emily telling the receptionist what I was there for.
Then I noticed a girl who looked to be about my age. She turned and whispered
something to her mother.
Now bearing in mind I was wearing short trousers,
knee-socks, blazer and school cap and therefore looked like a gangly, overgrown
1st Former, the mother’s disparaging reply to the girl’s whispered
comment will probably come as no surprise:
“That boy there? Oh, he’s just showing off… Trying to make
us all think he's got a big do-dah… that’s all…” Then she sighed and turned her eyes
upward and added: “Boys! They’re all the same at that age… just showing off.”
I wanted to say, “But I’m not that age… I’m nearly sixteen!”, but of course I couldn’t as it
would have been even more embarrassing to have to explain to a complete
stranger why I was dressed in short trousers, so I had to keep quite and blush
in silence.
As we waited Emily managed to draw even more attention to me
by fussing over me; straightening my socks, making sure my cap was on properly
and brushing bits of fluff from my blazer. She tugged at the hem of my little
grey school shorts and told me to speak up and not to mumble when the doctor
asked me questions. It was mortifying to be treated like this, but I knew it
would be even more mortifying if I had made a fuss and mum got to hear about
it, so obediently I stood while Emily made sure I was nice and smart for the
doctor.
All too soon the door to the doctor’s consulting-room was
opened and I was in for a shock. It was a lady doctor! I hadn’t even considered
this turn of events. Emily hadn’t said anything and there was nothing in the
reception or waiting area to indicate whether Dr Bradley was male or female. To
suddenly see that I was to be examined by a female doctor turned my legs to
jelly.
Dr Bradley was wearing a white coat and looked to be
extremely efficient. She smiled at Emily as I was led through the door. It was
then that to my horror I realised that Emily would be with me in the doctor’s
room!
The door was closed. Emily was shown a chair and I was
expected to stand.
“Mind your manners, Scottie…” Emily said. I must have looked
gormless as I was still in shock at finding out that Dr Bradley was a woman.
“Take your cap off… and stand up straight,” Emily instructed. Dr Bradley smiled
at me and it was clear she was impressed by the way Emily had me under control.
Dr Bradley looked at me, then shuffled some papers in front
of her and spoke to Emily: “I believe you wanted me to examine Scott to see if
it is suitable for him to wear a school approved jockstrap?”
There followed a conversation between Emily and the doctor
about boys needing jockstraps for P.E., a conversation about which I was not
included. Dr Bradley glanced at some papers before announcing:
“Well, I suppose we’d better get on with it… Would you get
undressed please Scott?” Of course it wasn’t a request; it was an order. Dr
Bradley indicated a side-table, “You can put your clothes there while I carry
out the examination.”
I was stunned. “What? All my clothes…?”
“Yes, Scott. Of course ‘all your clothes’. How else do you
expect me to carry out the examination?”
I noticed there was a screen on one side of the room.
“Should I go behind the screen?” I asked.
“I don’t think that will be necessary, Scott,” came the
doctor’s reply, “Now hurry up and get undressed so that I can examine you.” She
didn’t seem to be in the least concerned about Emily’s presence.
But then, to my complete surprise, Emily spoke: “I’ll go and sit in
the waiting-room while you carry out the examination doctor…”
I simply couldn’t believe my ears that Emily was proposing to spare
my blushes until Dr Bradley replied: “That won’t be possible Emily, I’m afraid.
I shall need you to stay and chaperone Scott while he is undressed. All boys
have to be accompanied if they are to undergo a full nude examination… it’s
Practice policy…”
The words ‘full nude
examination’ sent a shiver down my spine.
I got undressed and as I turned to face Dr Bradley I’d never
in my life felt more naked. Every little draught tickled my bare skin. I wasn’t
sure what to do with my hands. I knew instinctively that it would be wrong to
try and ‘cover-up’. I was unbelievably aware of the way my penis wobbled when I
moved and I prayed that it would behave and that I wouldn’t get ‘flustered’ in
front of the doctor.
Dr Bradley told me to come and stand by the side of her
desk. She swivelled her chair round to face me. Then she spoke to Emily: “You
did tell me, but could you remind me of Scott’s age…”
“He’s fifteen, Dr Bradley.”
“Oh, yes that’s right, fifteen… hmm, fifteen years old...” she was looking
straight at my hairless pubis, “Well, it’s unusual... not unknown…” she
addressed my smooth genitalia, “… and just within normal distribution… even so
I would have expected some sign of pubarche…”
Then she suddenly looked up and directed a question straight
at me: “Are you able to produce sperm, Scottie?”
She caught me completely off-guard. I was so stunned and
embarrassed by the directness of her question that I didn’t answer it properly
and simply muttered: “I… I… Umm… I…”
“Come along, Scottie, you must know whether you can produce
sperm. Do you know what sperm is?”
I glanced sideways at Emily. This was so embarrassing: “…err, yes… yes, doctor…”
“Then tell me… do you produce sperm, Scottie?”
This was awful!
I bit my lower lip before admitting: “Yes miss… I mean yes,
Dr Bradley.”
“Well, that’s something,” Dr Bradley said breezily and
turned to address Emily, “It’s not uncommon for boys to begin puberty and start
producing semen before they start to grow pubic hair… in fact most boys are
able to begin ejaculating some fluid during this stage, although it’s usually
quite thin and clear and unlikely to contain mature spermatozoa…”
I stood there, bare-nude and on full display, and Dr Bradley
proceeded to give an impromptu lecture to Emily about boyhood puberty. She went
on to talk about how the boy’s penis lengthened and thickened; how the
testicles developed and the scrotum increased in size to accommodate them.
“What we have here in Scottie is an example... an interesting example... of delayed
pubarche,” Dr Bradley told Emily, “Scottie has clearly entered puberty, since he has admitted he is able to produce sperm. From
a purely visual examination of his genitalia I would say that puberty is well
on-track, but without any sign of hair growth. Interestingly enough…” Dr
Bradley continued, “Full pubertal development does not in anyway depend on
pubarche, so that a boy can happily proceed through until even late-teens
without any sign of pubic hair. Even when it does finally begin to grow, it may
never be more than a light dusting of immature hair such as one would see on a much younger boy…”
“So Scottie might not grow any hair around his penis for ages…” Emily concluded with more than a
hint of mischief in her voice, “and he’ll look like a little boy…”
Dr Bradley smiled indulgently, “… not quite like a little boy, Emily, though you’re right, it does look
as though Scottie will have to wait for some while yet before he gets any hair down
there.”
The examination began in earnest and I was weighed and
measured. I was prodded, poked and listened to… all the
usual stuff. But then I was told I would have to perform a series of exercises
for ‘evaluation’ purposes.
“First of all Scottie, I just want you to jump up and down
for me…” Dr Bradley instructed, as if making a nude boy perform an exercise
purely designed to make his penis and testicles bounce about, was nothing out
of the ordinary!
Of course my penis bounced up and down made a noise as
it slapped against me.
“That’s it Scottie, keep jumping up and down… good boy…” Dr Bradley said
as she watched my penis bouncing.
I felt like a complete idiot, but worse was to come as Dr
Bradley decided to “up the tempo” as she put it.
“Right Scottie, you can stop now,” she said as she leaned
back in her chair to make some notes. For a moment I thought she had finished,
until she said, “Okay, Scottie, I want you to do some jumping-jacks for me… can
you do that?”
Of course I could do jumping-jacks; it’s just that I’d never done them fully nude before… and
certainly not in a doctor’s surgery
and never in front of a lady doctor…
to say nothing of Emily!
“Please, Dr Bradley… do I have to?”
Dr Bradley smiled at my evident embarrassment: “Of course
you have to Scottie. How else do you expect me to evaluate your suitability for
a special school uniform dispensation? Now there is no need to be shy in front me… or
Emily for that matter. I gather from Emily that she’s seen you fully nude
before, so that shouldn’t be a concern. Now how about some nice vigorous
jumping-jacks for me? I want you to put as much effort as you can into them…
Come on Scottie, let’s see you really exert yourself…”
By this stage I was seriously wondering whether being
awarded the privilege of wearing a schoolboy jock-strap was worth the extreme
embarrassment I was being put through. But if I didn’t convince Dr Bradley, I’d
have to put up with the further and endless humiliation that came from having
to wear junior boy’s P.E. shorts.
I started the exercise and my eyes were drawn to look at myself in a mirror across the room. I tried to look away, but I couldn't stop myself from looking
at my penis and testicles as they bounced and jiggled about. The noise as my
feet smacked the floor of the doctor’s room was echoed by that of my penis
slapping against my abdomen and legs. After a while I was told to clap my hands
over my head and this made the exercise even more exhausting. And the bouncing
about had a stimulating effect on my penis… as if I needed anything else to add
to my embarrassment!
When I was given permission to rest I couldn’t help but see
what had happened to my penis in the big mirror… it was pointing
forwards, straight out and level with the floor! I wanted to run and hide, or at the very
least to cover myself, but Dr Bradley briskly told me to put my hands on my
head and to walk back to her desk. My shame was
intense as I walked the short distance across the room. I could feel my ears
burning as my blushing reached proportions of embarrassment that I’d never
experienced before. My penis wobbled from side-to-side and as I walked I could
feel my legs trembling.
I was subjected to an intimate examination of my genitals
by Dr Bradley. As she did so she kept up a running commentary on her findings.
Emily asked questions and was answered by Dr Bradley. I was more or less
ignored as they discussed my penis and how it had responded to vigorous
exercise.
In the end Dr Bradley left me standing still fully nude and
still with my hands on top of my head, while she went and sat down at her desk
again.
“Emily, I’m going to recommend that Scottie be permitted to
wear a junior schoolboy jockstrap for a trail period. You will have to bring
him back for further tests and a medical examination in, say, two weeks, so
that I can assess how he’s getting along…”
“I’m not prepared to give Scottie a full certificate, but I
will issue him with a probationary certificate with will allow you to obtain a
junior school approved jockstrap from the school outfitter. As Scottie is still
in short trousers the assistant at the outfitters will need to see this
authorisation. I am only prepared to sanction the use of his jockstrap during
P.E. and Games lessons… Scottie is not
allowed to wear it on any other occasions…”
Emily told Dr Bradley that she understood and that she would
make sure that I wouldn’t abuse my new privilege.
That’s how I finally came to be awarded the special
dispensation which permitted me to wear a jockstrap (albeit a junior schoolboy jockstrap). All the
same, I still had to accompany Emily to the school outfitters in order to purchase my new item of school clothing. Much was made of the paperwork and
Emily explained all about our visit to the doctor’s and how I was assessed for
my suitability for the jockstrap. It all got rather embarrassing as the shop was
fairly busy. I noticed a boy come into the shop who was in the year above me
before I was put back into short trousers. His name was Noel and of course whereas
I had been demoted to the 3rd Form, he had entered the Sixth Form
and was well on his way to becoming a Prefect. He looked at me rather
disdainfully as I stood there in my short trousers. I smiled as if to say
‘hello’, but he made no attempt to speak to me. My eyes travelled downwards to
look with envy on his smart, tailored long trousers that fitted him perfectly.
After casting one more disparaging look at my bare legs Noel
turned to the shop assistant to make enquiries about buying a new cricket box.
Within the space of a few minutes he had completed his purchase. I was left
feeling utterly bewildered that he could come into the school outfitters and
buy a cricket box, on his own, without anyone asking for documentation to prove
he had been given authority to wear one. I knew as I watched him that Noel
hadn’t had to undergo one of the most humiliating medical assessments ever
devised to test his suitability to wear the item in question. He wore long trousers and things were
different when you wore long trousers.
It was so unfair… after all Noel was only a year older than
I was!
I was snapped out of my resentful thoughts by Emily:
“Come along Scottie, the assistant is going to show you how
to put on your new junior jockstrap so you’ll know how to put it on properly by yourself at
school when you get changed for P.E. lessons…”
I was aghast: “But… Emily… I know… I don’t need… please…”
Emily didn’t stand for any of my nonsense and simply
reminded me that if I didn’t do as I was told she would have to speak to Dr
Bradley and tell her that I didn’t need to wear a jockstrap anymore. That did
it of course and I meekly followed the middle-aged lady assistant to the
fitting-room.
As we passed by Noel he turned and gave me a look of such
withering contempt that it made me feel utterly ashamed of myself.
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